"I no spreak Ingrish"
His voice is playing over and over in my mind, just like "It's a Small World" when I got off the ride at Disney. Over and over and over...
Today was a really bad day but nobody was hurt and my daughter learned what seatbelts do when somebody crashes into the back of the car. I think my left boob is now inverted.
I am highly bothered that my car now has a dent. It is all downhill from here. Next, some idiot will crash their shopping cart into the door and ding it. Or, a punk kid will key the side panel. Before I go any further, let me back up and tell you a little about my car history. It will explain a lot.
Car Number 1: 1980 Chevy Nova
This car was great, you could sit in it. Listen to music in it. Take a nap in it. Just don't drive it. The car would die in the middle of intersections with no warning. At the time, I was 16 and there was nothing more embarrassing than pushing a car to school. One day my older brother "helped" change the oil. He poured water into the engine and cracked the block. I didn't know what that meant at the time other than being screwed out of a car.
Car Number 2: Honda CVCC
Have you heard of one? Me neither until I owed it. It was a gift and you don't refuse gifts. I was thankful for a ride. But, this wasn't a ride. The car, besides being an ugly brown color and smelling of cigars, didn't go uphill. I had to map out all my routes to avoid using hills. This was hard at the time because there was no map quest. One day, it didn't start. Thank God.
Car Number 3: Honda Prelude
This car was also a gift. It came from my husband shortly after getting married. It ran great. It looked great. To me, it was a contendor for the Indie 500. Then one day I woke up and it was gone. Stolen? Nope, my husband decided to buy new skis instead of paying the car payment. Lesson learned... "Just because you park your car in your driveway at night doesn?t mean it will be there in the morning."
Car Number 4: "The Gray Ghost"
I am sorry. I forget the name of this gem. I called it the "Gray Ghost". I would be driving and the radio would just click on. This car was the worst of all cars in my past but I bought it and it was all mines. My daughter loved this car, there were stickers affixed to the back of the driver's seat. Thank goodness she was too young to know what a marijuana leaf looked like. This car came with hidden benefits. Since the front passenger seat was broken, passengers enjoyed a leisure ride in the lying position. The driver's window didn't roll down. So, when I had to use a drive through window, I had to open my door. This always confused the poor kids at McDonalds. I think they were afraid I was getting out ripping off the "McDonald House" coin collector. After a year, I sputtered into a
Car Number 5:
What a beauty. I washed the car daily. Okay, I had to because it was white and I parked under telephone wires at work. For Christmas I received the nicest stereo I could ever imagine. It came with a remote and the face plate had jumping animated dolphins. I also had satellite radio, something I never had heard of. With money I had received from Christmas, I bought new tires. Ahh.. What a great car. Three weeks after Christmas, I received a call from my mother who was stranded on the freeway. Her car literally blew up. Bye, Bye Corolla. I had $600.00 to go until it was paid off. I gave it to my mother. I asked her to drop me off at the Honda dealership on the way home. I knew better than to walk into a car dealership. But, I drove out of there with a used Honda CRV at 2.2% APR. I had died and gone to Heaven. Then one day, it was gone. Since I knew I paid the payment on time I was confused as to where it went. My boyfriend stole it. I didn't see him or my CRV ever again. And this, leads me to...
Car Number 6:
I again walked into a dealership with no car. I was upside down in my CRV loan and now needed a new car. I got screwed. But, I needed a car and had no energy to fight the wolves that ate my flesh from across the table in the "negotiation room" at the dealership. The car only had 12k miles on it. They "forgot" to tell me that it was a car retired from a rental company so I am stuck with this car for life. At least it was new and shiny. ... Until Yellow cab rear ended me. The police officer was very pleasant and called in back up to speak to the cab driver in his native tongue. I am so sad when I look at the dent on the back of my car. But so grateful that the bumper isn't being held on by electrical tape. Things could ALWAYS be worse.
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